The Coaching Habit

The Coaching Habit:
Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

by Michael Bungay Stanier

The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier is a practical guide aimed at helping managers and leaders become more coach-like by using seven essential coaching questions. The book emphasizes the importance of staying curious longer, giving less advice, and leading more effectively through powerful questioning. Here’s a summary of the key points and the seven questions:

1. Ask One Question at a Time: Simplify your coaching to one question at a time to elicit better responses.
2. The Kickstart Question: "What’s on your mind?" This opens up the dialogue and lets the coachee determine the subject matter, focusing on issues that are currently most important to them.
3. The AWE Question: "And what else?" Keep asking this to delve deeper into the issue, uncover more details, and explore different aspects of the problem.
4. The Focus Question: "What’s the real challenge here for you?" This helps the coachee define the actual issue, which often isn't the first thing they talk about.
5. The Foundation Question: "What do you want?" It encourages the coachee to articulate their desires in the situation, clarifying their goals.
6. The Lazy Question: "How can I help?" This prompts the coachee to state explicitly how you can be most useful to them, rather than assuming you know best.
7. The Strategic Question: "If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?" This helps the coachee think about priorities and trade-offs, ensuring they are making informed decisions about their commitments.
8. The Learning Question: "What was most useful for you?" This encourages reflection on the conversation, reinforcing learning and development.

Stanier also discusses the idea that building a coaching habit helps in developing people’s capabilities, improving relationships, and making the leader’s job easier by empowering others to take more responsibility. The book is highly accessible and filled with practical techniques that aim to turn theoretical ideas into daily habits.